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Earth #45576: KitNapper Escapes with Stolen Cash and Kittens in Tow

KitNapper shocks police by getting away with a bag full of money and kittens, leaving the officers feline frustrated
Earth #45576: KitNapper Escapes with Stolen Cash and Kittens in Tow
"The sound of their mews is still so vivid in my mind, and I can't shake it. It's just so traumatic."

Universe #45576, Milky Way Galaxy, Orion Sector, Earth – In a shocking and disturbing incident, a criminal mastermind known as the KitNapper carried out a bank heist in broad daylight, using a potato sack full of innocent kittens as leverage. The individual, who remains at large and is now wanted by the police, entered the bank with a sack of kittens over their shoulder and demanded access to the safe.

The KitNapper. Photo snapped by an unusually high quality security camera at the bank. We're as shocked as you that the bank has such high-quality cameras, it's almost as if they were expecting someone to steal their money

Eyewitnesses reported that the KitNapper was armed and appeared to be dangerous, leading bank employees to immediately trigger the alarm and evacuate the building. The police quickly responded to the scene, but the situation quickly escalated when the KitNapper threatened to throw the kittens if their demands were not met.

One police officer entered the bank in an attempt to defuse the situation, but was forced to put down his weapon when the KitNapper threatened to swing the sack of kittens into the floor. The officer reportedly backed away, and the KitNapper was able to make their escape through the backdoor with an undisclosed amount of cash. Luckily, no kittens were harmed.

Detective Astrid Danger (mid-left) will lead the investigation

Led by world renowned criminology expert Detective Danger, the police have launched a manhunt for the KitNapper and are asking for the public's help in locating the individual and the stolen money. The KitNapper is considered to be armed with kittens and dangerous, and the police are warning residents not to approach the individual if they see them, and call the police immediately.

The kittens, who were reported to be unharmed but frightened, have not been seen since the heist and are now the subject of a frantic search. The police and local animal control are working together to locate the kittens and ensure their safe return.

In the aftermath of the shocking bank heist carried out by the KitNapper, one of the hostages has spoken out about their experience. The individual, who wishes to remain anonymous, stated that they still cannot get the sound of dozens of mewing kittens out of their mind and are now seeking therapy to help them cope with the trauma.

"I've never been so scared in my life. The thought of those poor kittens being used as leverage, it's just beyond comprehension," the hostage said. "The sound of their mews is still so vivid in my mind, and I can't shake it. It's just so traumatic."

The bank heist, which resulted in the use of innocent animals as hostages, has shocked and horrified the community. Many residents have expressed their anger and disbelief at the KitNapper's actions and are calling for their swift apprehension and punishment.

Mr. Whiskerface, wanted on cat burglary charges, may have been at the scene of the crime.

Police have stated they have good reason to believe that the kittens may, in fact, have been in on the ruse. "One of the kittens fits the description of criminal that is wanted on unrelated charges. His name is Mr. Whiskerface. He is wanted for a string of burglary charges," a Police spokesperson told us.

A $25,000 reward is offered for anyone that comes forward with information about the case that leads to an arrest. Neural News Network will update as the story unfolds.

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